Why does The Bachelor remind me of high school?
- Jessica Rendall
- Sep 19, 2019
- 2 min read
Season 7, Episode 15, Recap.
I’m not gonna lie, for someone who thinks reality TV turns your brain to mush, this episode of The Bachelor was quite entertaining. I haven’t been following along this season, so for my first glimpse of one of Matt Agnew’s top three choices to be a blonde haired, slim girl exclaiming “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t”, definitely reiterated my feelings about reality TV turning your brain to mush. The other two contestants were - shock horror - also blonde! This guy definitely has a type and I guess diversity isn’t it.
Nevertheless, I keep watching and I instantly regret it. As Matt stands there in the middle of a forest (who knows why) and speaks of his quest for true love, he takes off his shirt in a slow-mo, zoom, all angles captured, TWENTY-TWO-SECOND montage. How his shirtless body has anything to do with him finding true love, I’m not sure, but I am sure that that's 22 seconds of my life I'll never get back.
He picks up his first date Chelsie Mcleod in a Porsche advertisement- I mean sportscar and the pair race away to a date of their nerdy dreams. They talk about marriage, cause you know, things are getting serious when your man is dating two other women simultaneously, and things get a little awkward when Matt’s attempt to defy gender stereotypes takes a slightly incestuous turn. Have the scriptwriters- I mean producers, been watching too much Game of Thrones?
Source: news.com.au
As Matt tells Chelsie to take note of the numbers relevant to their dates, every science geek across the country watching from their living rooms swoon over the unrealistic idea of a perfect man, even though the producers probably thought of it anyway. The numbers unlock a safe with an engraved necklace that questioned my knowledge of how Chelsie was really spelt.
But alas, us non-scientifically minded folk could never understand their love.
If the dates were sisters, the next one would be the rebel who always gets told to go upstairs and change every time she tries to leave the house. Enter, Abbie Chatfield, who’s date goes from 0-100 reaaaal quick. The pair sail to a private island where the episode takes a sharp turn from a science lesson to sex-ed, and boy did the internet have a lot to say about it.
But His Highness reigning King of all the Bachelors past and present Osher Günsberg, quickly shut them down.
The final date was more like a consultation with your professor after he’d given you a grade you didn’t like. Helena Sauzier or better known to me as “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t”, returned to the show after her meltdown in the previous episode because it turns out, she can. She tells Matt she was just testing him and was glad he fought for her to come back, so when he eliminated her at the end of this episode, it had me wondering if he was now testing her? She didn’t fight back though.
From science, to sex-ed to teacher consultations, this episode had me wondering if I was watching The Bachelor or a showreel of my high school days. I can’t decide though, because my brain is now mush.
The Bachelor finale airs tonight at 7:30 on Ten.
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